One woman's treasure

I paid for OK Cupid. Here's what I got.

I wanted to know if my experience would be different as a paying account holder on OKC.

I like OKC because — if the guy can be bothered — it gives you a lot of information. It also gives you a lot of information. It gives you so many reasons to say no.

Here’s an example of how that plays out:

This guy is legit mansplaining mansplaining, so that’s fun.

Ladies! Overlook this behavior because it comes from a place of insecurity! We suck so you need to indulge us!

No.

Also, that’s a time saver.

I paid a promo rate of $20.00 for one month. My hope (?) was there’d be some great profile I hadn’t seen because the site doesn’t show you much for free.

Or I’d get more introduction messages because my account wasn’t throttled.

Spoiler: This did not happen.

I got more information I did not need. I have been “liked” over 100 times in the one week I’ve had the account.

A sample of what’s on offer:

  • Guy with a Confederate flag tattoo and his mask below his nose.

  • Guy in a room full of junk. No, wait, I think that’s a flea market tent. There are two versions of this photo. Is this his flea market tent?

  • Guy who uses zero punctuation. None.

  • Guy who says he wants a woman he can treat the same way he treats his Mother. Capitalized “Mother” his, not mine, and I have questions about what he does with his mom.

  • Guy who shows only his fully dressed torso. Another who says he’s hiding his face for “privacy reasons.”

  • Guy who tells me one of his skills is “being married.”

  • Guy who tells me he’s a god-fearing man looking to find a wife.

  • Guy who is a right-wing conservative — and who either can not or does not read.

  • Guy who asks me to meet him for a beer right away. Before we have exchanged two words.

  • Guy who uses my name too many times. Also, it’s not my real name so I find it especially jarring. I think this is a sales tactic?

  • Guy who forgets he has messaged me repeatedly. He also forgets I have repeatedly declined his advances because he is married. (No judgment, I swear, but not for me, kthxbai.)

  • Guy who tells me I’m using words in the wrong way and as such, missing out on the opportunity to educate those who disagree with me, but hey, it’s your profile, you can do what you want, I’m just trying to help you out.

It’s not like I paid a lot of money for this, it was twenty bucks, and — pro-tip, I turned off auto-renew so my account will expire in 30 days.

I wanted to find out if I was overlooking perfectly good potential dates who are interested in me. I wanted to learn if the things I filter on are keeping me from meeting someone I might like, someone who wants my attention.

Nope.

Guy in the flea market tent is totally a metaphor. You might find something interesting in all the discards, something that really speaks to your eclectic interests.

You might.