False Start IV

This one's my fault.

“Monogamy doesn’t work for me.”

This is what I get for not reading for comprehension. When you’re idly swiping through the apps, it’s easy to miss critical details — though I’m annoyed that my filters didn’t catch this.

It’s more an object lesson than anything else. Don’t be so passive.

After we matched, he bypassed the relationship status thing to talk about politics. He made that remark about monogamy like it was a throwaway thing, but I had no intention of just letting it go. I asked again.

“What’s up with your relationship status?”

“It’s complicated. Talk on the phone? Coffee?”

“How complicated could it be? You don’t have the top line ready to go?”

“We opened our marriage four years ago.”

“That’s not complicated, it just wasn’t clear to me from your profile. I don’t judge. Some of my best friends and all that, but it’s not for me. I’m looking to be the sun, not some third moon orbiting Jupiter.”

“Are you sure? Have you tried it?”

He messaged me a link to an article about how we don’t know our own minds, how we’re afraid of things because of mental programming, and we interfere with our own happiness thanks to this faulty wiring.

The article used the dentist as an example. The dentist is never as bad as we think it’s going to be, right? Except when it is. I haven’t even met the guy and he’s mansplaining how cultural programming has me not wanting to date a guy with a wife.

“I hate the dentist because it has been painful and expensive, not because I’m unselfaware.”

“Maybe we skip the coffee.”