48, union plumber
He seems chatty enough, though not particularly interesting. He is trying, but he keeps asking me those get-to-know you questions rather than answering my questions. He asks me to meet up.
“Not just yet,” I say, “can we talk here a little bit more first?”
He unmatches me.
Given his occupation it’s not surprising he’s an interesting guy. He’s overly philosophical for early in the day but I’m game. I end the conversation because I have things to do. I tell him I hope we can talk more.
Later that evening:
Hi, I’m reading a book.
Hi, I’m having a beer.
Hi, I’m watching a movie.
Thanks for the status updates, but where’s the guy I talked to 12 hours ago?
41, marine engineer
My self esteem isn’t so battered that I won’t at least try to match with a good looking guy. This one looks looks like Anderson Cooper. a walking stock photo. I ask him what he does for work and he tells me he’s a marine engineer.
“What’s a marine engineer?” I ask.
There’s something about the response; it’s a little too mechanical. I copy it into Google. It’s 100% pasted from a careers page. Next, I search Google for his image. I find an Italian fashion model’s Instagram.
I guess that’s what a catfish looks like.
55, tech guy
He says he’s “apolitical.” I’m very much not, so I ask him what that means. He says he’s mostly liberal but doesn’t like to talk about things he can’t change. White guys in tech who think they’re victims of the system… yeah.
He asks me about my political alignment.
“Rabid lefty, kinda commie, intermittent activist.”
I let it sit for a day, then I unmatch him.