Let's Talk About Sex

Actually, could we not? Could we save that?

“I have a big dick, but I’m not one.”
Yes, yes you are.

”Women in my life have consistently said I'm a great bed partner, sensitive to their needs and preferences. Not bragging. Just stating...”
First, you are bragging. Secondly, oh honey. Of course they’ve said that.

“I like sex with women.”
Dude. Your profile says you are a straight man. Can you explain why you needed to message me this fact?

“I’m a man. If you’re super hot, I’ll put up with you being anti-vax, having voted for Trump, and any number of intellectual sins just to fuck you.”
Okay, that’s funny. I wouldn’t date that guy, but it’s funny.

“I’m submissive.”
You know why you’re not? Because you told me this in a totally inappropriate context and now I have to think about it. That’s presumptuous, which is not a submissive quality. Also, I regret not responding, “Really? Get over here and clean my baseboards.”

“I'd like to find "the one", and I'm almost always open to that, but I will not cling to something just because it starts intense or the sex is good.”
This just makes my head hurt.

I’m an attractive fit guy with a huge sex drive.”
Hey, attractive guy! I notice you didn’t post a photo. Is that so your wife and/or friends don’t see your face in your profile?

“You have been looking for the wrong guy Mr GQ professional white collar guy is the wrong guy he just cares about himself, his career and his sex trophies.”
What’s a sex trophy? Are there special categories? Who awards them and is there a ceremony?

I’m really good at oral sex.
(Goes to take a shower.)