Why I Ghosted You
I don’t like to ghost. I don’t like it when it happens to me when it seems like there’s been a connection. That said I do understand why it happens. And I don’t owe anyone an explanation when I choose to ghost.
Except you, reader, you get an explanation.
You were snarky about my response time. Dude, what is your hurry? I do have a life, don’t you?
Guy: [Asks me a heavy question.]
Me: [Sees the question, considers whether to say “That’s too heavy a question for right now,” or if I should just answer it. Decides to let it sit.]
Guy: [Less than 24 hours later] Well, I guess you’re not answering me now, I suppose I failed the probationary period.
You had nothing to say. Are you a bot?
Guy: Hello, beautiful, how are you?
Me: I’m all right, I mean, these are weird times. How are you?
Guy: Hello beautiful, how are you?
Me: So, your wife knows you’re here?
Guy: Well, not specifically. I mean, she knows I’m getting it elsewhere but I don’t share the details.
Me: (In my head) You’re lying and I’m out.
Guy: [Long tedious explanation about his relationship and how my outdated ideas at monagamy are due to …]
Me: (In my head) I’m not even against this in theory, but OMG, you’re so boring and your assumptions about me before we’ve even met are out of bounds. Gimme the guy who says “I’m just tomcatting around,” over this bullshit any day.
Sidebar: I chatted with a poly guy who seemed really nice and was quite open, but it also seemed like he was being pushed into non-monogamy and was only on the dating sites as a reaction to his wife’s choices. It made me sad. I don’t want to be anywhere near that mess.
You propositioned me before we had any kind of meaningful interaction, or as an opening line.
Guy: We should get high and make out.
You said, “It seems like women…”
You trivialized the pandemic.
You’re under 35.
Guy: Mature women really rev my motor.
Me: Ahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahah. Whew. (Briefly considers it.) Ahahahahahahahahahahah. (Wipes eyes.) No.
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