Yeah, I went on a Real Date.

And no, I'm not going to tell you about it.

I will share this with you, it is 100% relevant to what I am experiencing. I have not asked him if it’s accurate or not yet.

I will tell you that I said yes to getting together again, though I also told him I need a hot minute to sweep up the powdered sugar he’s been spreading all over the place. I like him a lot but I need more runway than I did when I was in my 30s and slutty*.

Okay, I’ll also tell you that I totally cracked up when the waitress put the rice down.

“One brown, one white?”

“Yeah, that’s how we do here.”

The other thing I’ll tell you is that I sent his picture to a friend. She said — and I quote:

”Um.

HOLY SHIT.

🔥🔥🔥”

*Absolutely claiming slutty as a positive “hooking up can be fun if everything’s consensual” quality.